That moment when your oldest son texts you at 10:45 in the morning and wishes you happy anniversary, and neither my husband nor I have even remembered it, once again. It’s actually quite a laugh between us now, this tradition of ours to forget our anniversary.
Don’t get me wrong, we are (at least I know I am) happily married. In fact, I have more love and respect for my husband now than I did back 22 years ago. It is funny though, ET gets mad at himself for forgetting it…and I am like, whatever. It’s much more important knowing that he cares for, loves and respects me, and since I know this to be true, I don’t sweat the small stuff like forgetting a date on the calendar. I look at it this way, it is just a date…yes, on this day we will have been married so long, but isn’t what is really important, that which takes place every day? Meaning loving and honoring each other throughout, even when we disagree on something. The sum of all the simple days of small joys as well as the sacrifices is what make up a lifetime to cherish.
I’m trying to come up with an example or analogy for what I mean, and the only thing that comes to mind right now as an example is, Christmas. It really doesn’t matter to me whether Jesus was born on December 25th and that this date may have been just chosen because certain christian leaders of the day thought it would mesh well with pagan celebrations. Fact is that I believe Jesus was born, lived and died for us, period. That is what really matters, not the date.
It’s what happens in between those set dates that is really important. Whatever goes on in the everyday. And in general, it’s what happens inside your heart that’s really important, not what you want to display to the public. When your true heart reflects that love you have inside I don’t think it can be hidden away…whatever you have inside, is what you’ll wear outside.
Many waters cannot quench love; neither can rivers drown it. If a man tried to buy love with everything he owned, his offer would be utterly despised.
– Song of Solomon 8:7
God gave me a second chance with this marriage, and He blessed me with a loving, God fearing husband. Our marriage is not perfect, neither my husband or I, but we are walking this journey together determined to give Him the glory. We have been together as a couple for almost 25 years and I’m happy to say that I hope we will still have many more years together. No one can really look into the future, but we can look at our past, learn from it and move on. Things have not always been easygoing for us, either it was our own doing or other forces that caused some kind of ruckus. And who knows what lies ahead, but I do know one thing after all this time…
Loving someone is as much a choice as anything. Sure, there must be an attraction in the beginning, infatuation, if you want to call it that. But when you choose to commit, something else has to take over or you are doomed before you even start.
I know for a definite fact that I can be pretty unlovable sometimes, and I’m so thankful that ET chooses to walk the honorable walk in spite of it. I can also say with confidence that if we both didn’t put God first in our lives, we may not be together today.
So, back to our ‘surprise’ anniversary… It also happened to be my granddaughter and niece day, and I’ll admit I was pretty much exhausted by evening when ET came home, also having had a full scheduled day. Our anniversary evening date was spent at home with some antipasti and Champagne. To be sure, ET is the one that comes up with these ideas…I was all for frozen pizza, but hey, no complaints here!
Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend!